Speakerphone Shouting Olympic Champions
I think speakerphone has to qualify as one of the most annoying inventions of our time...far worse than the constantly ringing overabused cell phone surgically attached to everyone's ear. At least with cell phones you don't hear both sides of the conversation being shouted at top volume by a group of people not really listening to eachother at all. There's just nothing quite like trying to work (aka read all your friends' blogs and comment copiously to validate your own sad little internet existance while hurriedly pretending to look at files whenever anyone approaches your workspace) to the tinny background musak of the peanuts teacher gone corporate punctuated by hollow peals of fake ass-kissing laughter. If you're going to have a conference call/vocal strengthening excercises on speakerphone and expect your employees to remain somewhat productive, it might be a good idea to close the freakin door people! Either that or make it a little more interesting to eavesdrop on...I'm thinking yodelling or maybe spontaneous bursts of song, ala musical theatre style, you know?
Oh god...now Mr. Not-so-quiet-voice, a member of my "team" (which really does confuse me- in my experience this means sexual preference but perhaps that's the true difference between corporate america and non-profit land) who speaks like someone's very deaf grandfather in this odd overly pretentious manner, is now throwing his voice into the cacauphony of sound. Mr. Not-so-quiet-voice, while an incredibly sweet and well meaning individual, can try the hell out of my nerves on a daily basis. My favorite is when he asks questions directly pertaining to me and then seems surprised at the concept of sound travelling, when I emerge from my cocoon to respond.
Okay, something must be done about this...I think its time for Pride and Prejudice. There's nothing like a book on tape to make cubicle hell slightly more survivable...and I get ridiculously into it too. The last one I listened to was Jane Eyre, and instead of going to work every day, I got the pleasure of going to Thornfield Hall. There was some explaining to do when people would come back to my thankfully secluded cave and I would be a snotty sobbing mess- I think the many social workers and Psychiatrists I work with (who are all nutjobs by the way- just to renew your faith in the behavioral health industry) thought I was more than a little depressed. I wasn't depressed, just delusional, believing I was Jane Eyre. I still kind of do.
Oh god...now Mr. Not-so-quiet-voice, a member of my "team" (which really does confuse me- in my experience this means sexual preference but perhaps that's the true difference between corporate america and non-profit land) who speaks like someone's very deaf grandfather in this odd overly pretentious manner, is now throwing his voice into the cacauphony of sound. Mr. Not-so-quiet-voice, while an incredibly sweet and well meaning individual, can try the hell out of my nerves on a daily basis. My favorite is when he asks questions directly pertaining to me and then seems surprised at the concept of sound travelling, when I emerge from my cocoon to respond.
Okay, something must be done about this...I think its time for Pride and Prejudice. There's nothing like a book on tape to make cubicle hell slightly more survivable...and I get ridiculously into it too. The last one I listened to was Jane Eyre, and instead of going to work every day, I got the pleasure of going to Thornfield Hall. There was some explaining to do when people would come back to my thankfully secluded cave and I would be a snotty sobbing mess- I think the many social workers and Psychiatrists I work with (who are all nutjobs by the way- just to renew your faith in the behavioral health industry) thought I was more than a little depressed. I wasn't depressed, just delusional, believing I was Jane Eyre. I still kind of do.
I'll show them, shouting voices and all....I have stinky tuna-fish for lunch! The ultimate revenge!
God I hate my stupid day job...I need a contract, quick!
posted by Le Synge Bleu at 1:38 PM
4 Comments:
Maybe if he sounds important, then he IS important...or so he thinks. Wait until he discovers net meeting or whatever silly product Microsoft bought from some small company and is now using to further infilitrate the world (I mean, our lives). Perhaps he's merely playing the role that he thinks he's supposed to play.
Bronte...what a nice choice. Isn't it sad that the Iowa Writers Workshop or any MFA program would destroy that sort of style? We, and I use that term loosely, refuse to let any sort of art build anymore. Too much need for you-know-what: instant gratification. Even the term postmodern is dead now. It's hypermodern, which is very sad. However, "all the new thinking is about loss," Robert Hass said. "In this it resembles all the old thinking." Just like usual...bittersweet me.
Maybe it means we're all attention whores- them with their loud voices and self importance on the phone and us with our equally loud written voices online.
I am enjoying the lingering build and non-instant crock-pot-all-day kind of gratification I'm getting from P&P...it makes me happy indeed.
Okay, now if there are going to be any curly red-headed photos, then I definitely want in on that. Reminds me of a not so curly beautiful red head I brought home from a bar. My ex-boyfriend looked like the owner of a cat who had brought some dead animal gift to his door. He was underwhelmed by the possibility of sleeping with us both, indeed trembling with anger at my "antics".
I agree with the previous commentary, in that I cannot write enough to support a blog of my own. But it's fun to camp in on you and Ed. Do tell me the name of that Indian flick as I am a Kathak dancing, bindi wearing, Indian souled, curry fanatic.
My office is not nearly as interesting as yours, Kitten. And when I comment post-eavesdrop, I am often chided. What EVER. I'm over it.
Books on tape kick ass. But today I'm listening to cd's of Paris Combo, Patrick Bruel, and 60's gold hits...my headphones tuning out their madness. ROCK ON.
P
P, the movie's called Bride and Prejudice. Here's a url for some info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361411/.
(sorry, my techno-challenged ass has yet to figure out how to do links and stuff...my friend the Tap Dancing Torah is going to show me this weekend or whenever the hell we get around to it.)
Kristoise, the hair's less curly than yours but more than it used to be, and a dark reddish brown color you've seen before...what can I say? We all strive to emulate you Kristoise, only no one can pull off yuor amazing style like you can!
Yes, I love me some Jane Austen. Perfect for a hideous stupid day job. The saying is no longer Calgon take me away...its Austen, take me away. Have yuo read "Reading Lolita in Tehran"? It's the story of a feminist western lit professor in post revolutionary Iran. The really cool thing is she tells her story with and through the works of literature she's teaching. I think you might like it. This, of course, is to be read in your oh-so-copious free time.
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