The Talk, The Date, and the Wardrobe

I am relieved; the "talk" has been had.

It went surprisingly well, much more so than I anticipated. The beginning did not bode well; he walked in and said that two of his friends were over at the apartment hanging out and would only be there for half an hour and did I want to go over and hang out with them and then we'd have time to ourselves afterwards? I believe the expression on my face was something along the lines of looking at a 3 headed baby eating alien monster. I replied that no, I did not at all want to go hang out with his friends because I had some things I wanted to talk to him about. He was fine with that, as well he should have been considering we had plans and his friends dropping by played no part in the equation as far as I was concerned.

I launched in with the entrance that the relationship was not growing and had in fact been regressing as of late.
"I've kind of been feeling that way too."
Huh? Wow, that was ummm, unexpected. It set the tone for the oddest conversation of this type I've ever had; he agreed with positively everything I said. He said it was a "fair and reasonable description of his behavior". He apologized, gave some excuses but ultimately acknowledged that they were excuses and that he was still responsible for his own behavior. It was like having coffee with a stranger - at least it definitely was not the man who's been causing me so much strife and frustration as of late. Whoever this guy was, he'd drunk some pretty heavy face-the-music syrum in his coffee or something. He agreed that his behavior was shitty, attributed it to his "autism", said he was working on it with a professional, and agreed that stepping back was a good idea. He seemed relieved that I wasn't ending it,totally, and appeared to be contrite and ready to make more effort, even discussing ways of ensuring that this behavior doesn't continue (ie he evidently needs to be reminded of plans, like a child, and will be putting post-it notes on his computer to remind him of things...ummm, okay, whatever). The whole damn conversation was quite short and sweet, and I was left feeling quite bizarre, really. I stated my case, and the defense merely agreed continually with the charges. And yes, it was sincere!

So where we left things is that we're still seeing eachother, giving this a chance at growth, but in the meantime opening it up to seeing other people and taking one giant step back from a relationship that was too quickly entered into.

So, ummm...(she blushes)...I already have a date tonight.

It wasn't my fault! It happened by accident!

After the somewhat satisfying albeit weird as hell conversation, I went in search of My Little Vidipookikins, my partner in wine. As she was nowhere to be found (except in a movie theatre, as I later found out), I headed uptown to my own neighborhood and to the comforting arms of The Lone Star Talent. While the thought of continually screaming icing and parncing about to cheesy 80's music was tempting, I decided that I actually wanted to be out and about, so I headed over to my local neighborhood bar with instructions for LST to do the same. I found my Hood Haunt to be quite lively, with a gaggle of men (mostly gay) all interacting with eachother. I proceeded to down Cosmos as if I had been wandering the desert for 40 years and this was my first oasis I'd found. Luckily, they were paid for by a very friendly and interesting corporate attorney who said I was special because I could do something he could never do (act) and not to lose track of how extraordinary that made me. Uh, hello? Isn't this New York? That talent isn't exactly a rarity here ya know. But I had a lovely time, got completely bombed, and although I don't remember it, I evidently gave this man my phone number.

This morning, there was a voice mail message from him. It said "Umm, hi...this is [drunk guy from bar]. I know I said I'd call you tomorrow, but I just realized it is tomorrow! So, umm, I don't know if in the sober light of day you'll be at all interested or not, but I will be at Hood Haunt between 7 and 8pm if you would like to join me. If you don't that's totally okay, I understand we were pretty drunk and all and you may not be interested...I'll leave you alone and won't bother you again. But if you are interested, please come meet me at Hood Haunt tonight."

So I'm going. I mean, why the hell not, right? Its only a drink or two, he was very kind and paid all of our bar tab last night, and well, I am free to see other people, why not excercise that right? If I remember correctly (and that may just be giving myself a little too much credit there) he was very intelligent, very well spoken, and interesting.

So I'm going.

As soon as I post this.

Its already 7:25.

Maybe I shouldn't go.

I'm ridiculous.

I'm going.

Bye.