I Am An Idiot Whose Cell Phone Should Be Taken Away When Drunk

I am a self detructive idiot currently dealing with things in the way that I deal best - making an ass out of myself.

Last night was veggie nigh and My Little Vidipookikins was horribly sick (we share a half share of the veggies), so I picked them up and hauled them to her house and then got her popsickles and seltzer water and stuff. I left her apartment at about 10:15, ready to make it an early night and head home for once. This was not to be. Mr. Saucy Funnybuns (his buns aren't funny, he is) called and was about 20 blocks away having a vodka cranberry emergency that he desperately needed my help finishing; never one to refuse to help a friend in dire need (or a vodka cran for that matter), I rushed over, veggies in tow.

Mr. Saucy Funnybuns has cancer and recently decided to stop his chemo treatments; he is a very close friend and I love him dearly. Needless to say, his cancer makes me quite sad.

So Mr. Saucy Funnybuns, his friend Mr. Chutzpah Eventster, and I proceeded to get rather inebriated. I'm not quite sure how it happened, new drinks just kept appearing magically before me and I wasn't paying the bill. We headed towards Mr. Chutzpah Evenster's apartment where we played with the dog for a little while before I deposited Mr. Saucy Funnybuns in a cab for home and made the fateful erroneous decision to go by Abar (not its real name) for just one more.

Okay, we all know why I went to Abar. It wasn't for just one more, it was to see if Mr. Mama's Tatoo of All Trades happened to be there; a stupid drunken decision. But wait, the idiocy does not end there. I had 2 more at Abar, where Mr. Mama's Tatoo of All Trades was not to be found, and in between the 2 I stepped outside for a smoke and called him. This was at 1:00am, and I got his voicemail. I must interject here that I have a little problem with drunken dialing; I always have. I should not be allowed to carry my cell phone with me on nights like these, or there should be some kind of a sober test built into the phone that I would have to take before being allowed to dial. Especially on nights where I am feeling rather fragile and don't want to spend the night alone. I did not leave a message asking him what was going on, as I had fully intended to earlier in the day. No, instead I left some inane long winded message saying I was calling him to see if he wanted to join me for a drink, like some clueless desperate dumbass who just doesn't get the message. I should erase his number.

But wait! It's not over, the night of shame continues like some bad movie that just never ends.

I left Abar and was stumbling towards the subway somewhere around 1:30am, and decided that I didn't want to schlepp all the way home this drunk and with a huge sack o' veggies, so I then called Mr. Emotionally Unavailable to see if I could platonically (yeah right) crash there and left the second long winded idiotic message of the night. Luckily with Mr. Emtionally Unavailable, we've been through so much in the last year that humiliation doesn't really exist between the two of us so I'm not all that worried or upset about it. Still, its a call I'd rather not have placed, especially after our conversation Monday morning.

Tonight is my commercial class and at least I know I will be coming home afterwards with no opportunity to be self destructive and stupid. Of course, that's what I said last night. I think this phase will end soon though, I can only be self destructive in short spurts, thank god.