My Adventure in Fratland
Curiosity got the better of me last night. Curiosity usually gets the better of me; she's much stronger than I and frankly that's not usually a bad thing.
I have a blogging aquaintance that lives in the city and manages a bar in an area that I normally would never frequent. This aquaintance, however, seems to be a very interesting and incredibly nice individual; on a whim, I decided to pay him and his establishment an undercover visit. Yes, I am a secret agent woman...but not a secret asian woman, that's just a common misquote of the song. I am also always at the ready for new adventure and was incredibly curious after reading so much about the place as to what I'd think.
So I bravely ventured forth to explore a new and totally alien neighborhood wholly incongruous with my usual existance. I went incognito, of course, though still nowhere near blending with the conservative (I'm not sure I could ever really blend in with conservatives) 20-somethings frequenting the establishment. I thought it would be an adventure as well as a bit of a challenge; I wanted to see how sharp my chameleon capabilities were and see if I could still adapt to any situation I'm thrown into.
It was definitely an adventure - it was like stepping into another world entirely. My New York is quite different from the one I peered into last night. I would say I was a fish out of water, but I am deathly afraid of fish and thus wouldn't want to compare myself to one. It was an interesting social study in group mentality. One half of the vacuous space, towards the back, was completely empty while the whole front of the establishment was packed to the gills with people, sardine style. (I really don't know where all these fish references are coming from...its a bit spooky) Yet no one would venture away from the crowd, not even in the interest of breathing room. Most of the people were dressed very similarly and there was a definite lack of distinguishable individuality amongst the majority of the customers. I felt like I was in what could best be described as the logical extention of the faternity/sorority culture...not exactly quite my cup of tea.
It was lovely for my ego, however, as I was sloppily wooed by two drunken men who's only tactic seemed to be repeating that I was gorgeous. I attempted to explain that the wine and beer only gave the appearance of such things, but as this was their only knowledge of conversation technique, they continued to repeat it closer towards my ear as if that would somehow win me over. The first man, we'll call him drunk off his ass as that was most definitely his state of being, just didn't know what to make of my somewhat smart ass tendencies. He continually wobbled between offended and adoring, but was never quite capable of uttering a complete phrase in either state. He kept beginning sentences and then abandoning the effort with a dismissive "Never mind. You don't want to hear it anyway." despite the fact that I never alluded to an opinion regarding his half begun phrases. He also asked my name a sum total of 7 times; after the first three times I stopped reminding him that he had already been told. It seemed to be a moot point really. He also kept threatening or promising (I was never entirely sure which it was) to leave, saying "That's fine. I'll leave you alone. I'll stop bothering you now. But I will always love you and I will tell my children about you. I'll never forget you." but he never actually left. This remark was usually followed by a long pause in which he stared at me, sitting stationary the whole time, and then he would launch into one of the whopping 5 phrases that seemed to be the only ones in his lexicon of the evening. Yes, folks, this is the quality kind of a man I attract. Its a rare talent, but I seem to have been abundantly blessed.
Drunken suitor number two seemed to be quite turned on by being spoken to with abundant sarcasm, and every time I gave a retort to one of his many inane efforts at intelligent conversation, he looked as if I'd spanked him and he greatly enjoyed it. He began the conversation by saying "You're not a liberal, are you?", which as you can imagine was quite the winner with me. I responded with "Even worse, an activist! Oooh, scary! Why? Was my bleeding heart spilling out onto the floor?" This began an amusing, though rather circular discourse as to our different beliefs; his were never quite articulated fully and mine were responded to by him in a manner which I believe might have been an attempt at seductive condescension...but I'm not quite sure. His response was along the lines of aw, how cute, I think you're hot and am now going to repeatedly attempt to insert my tongue in your ear while you continue to squirm out of my reach. I finally excused myself to use the facilities, and met him in the narrow downstairs hallway as I was exiting. He grabbed my arm, which as I rule I am generally uncomfortable with in regards to drunken strangers, so I pulled away using the self defense techniques every good feminist knows. Undaunted, he then leaned in to try and kiss me, and I said "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not kissing you in some random bathroom hallway." (not that I intended on kissing him at all, mind you..) He replied, "Will I at least get your phone number at the end of the night?" Ever the brutally honest bitch that I am I said, "No. No, you're not." To which he said, "Its because I'm a conservative isn't it? You can't handle that I'm politically conservative." Umm, yeah, that's it. Definitely.
I do have to say that the staff of the establishment more than made up for those frequenting it, and although I did not meet the blogging aquaintance (I later found out that I did catch a brief glimpse of his head out of the window above the bar while I was outside smoking) the staff that I did meet were charming and incredibly nice and funny.
It was a funny adventure and its good to stretch your horizons a bit and go places you normally never would. And hey, I was made to feel quite sexy by two very drunken and obnoxious men...never mind that they kept missing the barstool when they went to sit down.
I have a blogging aquaintance that lives in the city and manages a bar in an area that I normally would never frequent. This aquaintance, however, seems to be a very interesting and incredibly nice individual; on a whim, I decided to pay him and his establishment an undercover visit. Yes, I am a secret agent woman...but not a secret asian woman, that's just a common misquote of the song. I am also always at the ready for new adventure and was incredibly curious after reading so much about the place as to what I'd think.
So I bravely ventured forth to explore a new and totally alien neighborhood wholly incongruous with my usual existance. I went incognito, of course, though still nowhere near blending with the conservative (I'm not sure I could ever really blend in with conservatives) 20-somethings frequenting the establishment. I thought it would be an adventure as well as a bit of a challenge; I wanted to see how sharp my chameleon capabilities were and see if I could still adapt to any situation I'm thrown into.
It was definitely an adventure - it was like stepping into another world entirely. My New York is quite different from the one I peered into last night. I would say I was a fish out of water, but I am deathly afraid of fish and thus wouldn't want to compare myself to one. It was an interesting social study in group mentality. One half of the vacuous space, towards the back, was completely empty while the whole front of the establishment was packed to the gills with people, sardine style. (I really don't know where all these fish references are coming from...its a bit spooky) Yet no one would venture away from the crowd, not even in the interest of breathing room. Most of the people were dressed very similarly and there was a definite lack of distinguishable individuality amongst the majority of the customers. I felt like I was in what could best be described as the logical extention of the faternity/sorority culture...not exactly quite my cup of tea.
It was lovely for my ego, however, as I was sloppily wooed by two drunken men who's only tactic seemed to be repeating that I was gorgeous. I attempted to explain that the wine and beer only gave the appearance of such things, but as this was their only knowledge of conversation technique, they continued to repeat it closer towards my ear as if that would somehow win me over. The first man, we'll call him drunk off his ass as that was most definitely his state of being, just didn't know what to make of my somewhat smart ass tendencies. He continually wobbled between offended and adoring, but was never quite capable of uttering a complete phrase in either state. He kept beginning sentences and then abandoning the effort with a dismissive "Never mind. You don't want to hear it anyway." despite the fact that I never alluded to an opinion regarding his half begun phrases. He also asked my name a sum total of 7 times; after the first three times I stopped reminding him that he had already been told. It seemed to be a moot point really. He also kept threatening or promising (I was never entirely sure which it was) to leave, saying "That's fine. I'll leave you alone. I'll stop bothering you now. But I will always love you and I will tell my children about you. I'll never forget you." but he never actually left. This remark was usually followed by a long pause in which he stared at me, sitting stationary the whole time, and then he would launch into one of the whopping 5 phrases that seemed to be the only ones in his lexicon of the evening. Yes, folks, this is the quality kind of a man I attract. Its a rare talent, but I seem to have been abundantly blessed.
Drunken suitor number two seemed to be quite turned on by being spoken to with abundant sarcasm, and every time I gave a retort to one of his many inane efforts at intelligent conversation, he looked as if I'd spanked him and he greatly enjoyed it. He began the conversation by saying "You're not a liberal, are you?", which as you can imagine was quite the winner with me. I responded with "Even worse, an activist! Oooh, scary! Why? Was my bleeding heart spilling out onto the floor?" This began an amusing, though rather circular discourse as to our different beliefs; his were never quite articulated fully and mine were responded to by him in a manner which I believe might have been an attempt at seductive condescension...but I'm not quite sure. His response was along the lines of aw, how cute, I think you're hot and am now going to repeatedly attempt to insert my tongue in your ear while you continue to squirm out of my reach. I finally excused myself to use the facilities, and met him in the narrow downstairs hallway as I was exiting. He grabbed my arm, which as I rule I am generally uncomfortable with in regards to drunken strangers, so I pulled away using the self defense techniques every good feminist knows. Undaunted, he then leaned in to try and kiss me, and I said "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not kissing you in some random bathroom hallway." (not that I intended on kissing him at all, mind you..) He replied, "Will I at least get your phone number at the end of the night?" Ever the brutally honest bitch that I am I said, "No. No, you're not." To which he said, "Its because I'm a conservative isn't it? You can't handle that I'm politically conservative." Umm, yeah, that's it. Definitely.
I do have to say that the staff of the establishment more than made up for those frequenting it, and although I did not meet the blogging aquaintance (I later found out that I did catch a brief glimpse of his head out of the window above the bar while I was outside smoking) the staff that I did meet were charming and incredibly nice and funny.
It was a funny adventure and its good to stretch your horizons a bit and go places you normally never would. And hey, I was made to feel quite sexy by two very drunken and obnoxious men...never mind that they kept missing the barstool when they went to sit down.
posted by Le Synge Bleu at 6:49 PM
2 Comments:
I CANNOT BELIEVE I MISSED YOU!!! I was told by H.B.E. that he thought that you were there (he reads your blog too), but didn't make it a point to tell me until after you left! I can't believe I missed out on meeting you! Damn!
In any case, now you know what I deal with on a daily basis. Fratland isn't exactly for the faint of heart, that's for sure. I hope you got a better sense of what I mean with the different references that I make about fashion and such. Kinda spooky, isn't it?
Hopefully I'll get an opportunity to finally meet you one day-but thanks for stopping by nevertheless. ;)
H.B.E. knew who I was? And here I believed myself to be so incognito! He never let on that he suspected. I'm curious as to what gave me away!
I did mention that I had read the blog, because I didn't know if you were working or not, so I mentioned that I had stumbled across the blog one day and decided to come and see the place, and who wrote the blog?
What's really funny was that I was outside as you were hanging out of your window.
Yes, now I do have much more appreciation for your pain, and you definitely weren't exaggerating about things!
perhaps i'll play spy again one day and see if you figure it out.
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