Messy Brain Explosion on a Creative High or My Pretentious Fuck Post

I operate best with a certain amount of stress in my life. This had always been true for me, and I've always found that the busier I am, the more I get accomplished. However, I do have to watch myself, as if there is not that little edge of stress to instigate forward motion, I can sometimes tend to create volcanic drama; while this makes for perhaps more interesting blogging posts, its not exactly a healthy habit to have (though neither is smoking, and I never claimed to be all that healthy). So naturally, I am thrilled to be again off and bounding away at breakneck speed, fully absorbed in artistic endeavors rather than expending massive amounts of energy on mini-dramas of my own creation. This is what I live for and how I am my happiest and best self.

Although the Vagina Goddess is producing and in charge of the project, I am going to be rather heavily involved with helping out on the production siode of things as well. I am in charge of researching and coordinating with the donation aspect of the production; something I'm honored to do and something that will enable me to familiarize myself with many local womyn's organizations that I will undoubtedly continue working with beyond this project. I'm also working with My Little Vidipookikins on the blog/vlog we will be setting up. I just had a meeting with her in fact, and my excitement and energy is renewed after a bit of a sedentary weekend thus far.

The Vagina Vlog will be a documentation of process from start to finish of the whole project comprised of video of the meetings and rehearsal process as well as interviews with all those involved, and text written by the awkward bumbling hand of yours truly. In the end all the video clips will be assembled into a "the making of" kind of a short. I'm incredibly excited about this idea, as there's something fascinating about charting the creative process. On an entirely different level, I also think it makes for good publicity; a different and new approach to drumming up interest.

My brain is reeling with all the possibilities we discussed. It's incredibly exciting.

I'm also working on putting together a possible project of a one woman online work that will be filmed in very short segments that the viewer will be able to assemble in different ways, thus altering or perhaps in a way creating the story to a certain extent. I have an incredible writer in mind that I want to pitch the project to, and would be collaborating with My Little Vidipookikins on this as well.

Our whole long term goal is to create a template to get a grant for an online artistic community replete with its own servers and resources. It would be a virtual artists commune with archival abilities that would enable all sorts of creative collaboration and mixed artistic mediums....something I've been interested in for a long time, but never considered the possibility of using the internet for until quite recently. It is already the largest and most powerful venue reaching the widest and most diverse audience and is changing and challenging the art world as we speak. I'm fascinated with how the disconnect alters and affects interpretation, and how it affects the collaborative process. I have been thrilled with the work of the three artists whose studios I have links to, and am especially interested in how they take work from eachother to use in or inspire their own work.

There are moments where you feel like the world has suddenly cracked open and you are privy to the endless open doors of possibility that somehow become masked by the daily grind of obesessive minutia. These are the moments to cultivate and hold in an iron grip of ever accessible muscle memory lest they be obliterated by the contant jostling of bumpy living. These are the moments of living and why I do what I do and am wholly incapable of doing anything else.

The creative high is a very addictive but incomparably thrilling drug.

And no, I'm not a pretentious fuck, I just sometimes get carried away and write like one.