Hearing Impaired

It's raining that intensely cold to your very core sort of rain that really ought to be snow because it would be a hell of a lot warmer. But no, instead it remains cold and wet and settles in your bones with a perpetual dampness that claims squatter's rights and is there to stay despite the heated office and internal coffee warming attempts. To make matters worse, after waking up late (despite repeated wake up phone calls lasting the duration of an hour...mornings are not my forte), as I scrambled out of the apartment in my sleepwalking haze of a mad dash I forgot my umbrella was not in my overstuffed suitcase of a purse.

Its like one of the 10 comandments in the bible of nyc- thou shalt not leave thy dwelling place without thy umbrella. Everyone knows this; the one time you don't have your umbrella is the one time it suddenly becomes monsoon season in the city. Plus, your trusty umbrella is your only weapon of defense aginst getting your eye poked out by everyone else's umbrellas rapidly approaching at super sonic speeds with spokes headed straight towards the vicinity of your eyeballs. Unfortunately I discovered this oversight once having reached the bottom of my five arduous flights and decided to risk life and limb and eyeballs in the interest of already precious time.

By the time I reached 100 Centre street, my coat and hat were mere formalities. Dripping formalities, though, which made them all the more annoying to both myself and the security guards scanning my property through the x-ray machine thingy (I think that's the technical term for it). I squished my way to the information desk, where they were to hold my confiscated cell phone - dangerous weapon that is it for having a shitty useless camera function, and inquired as to the location of Judge Cataldo's courtroom. I recieved my three contradictory responses, and proceeded to comb about five different floors for the elusive location.

Finally, at about 9:45am (the hearing was scheduled for 9:00am), I happened upon it by sheer luck only to find it completely empty but for one lone harried lawyer barking quietly into a cell phone. I stood there for several moments staring blankly around like a complete idiot, and turned around to squish my way out. The barker followed at my heels, though he was now being the annoying frustrated sigher, so I asked him if the hearing was over already. He looked at me like I had cat vomit in my hair and replied that he knew nothing of any hearings. Pressing him further, I said "The city's contempt hearing?", as if this would be the magic key that would suddenly unlock his memory and provide some sort of explanation for my sopping sleep deprived question mark of a being. No such luck; the barker didn't know of any hearings against the city and why should he? He had too many people on his plate to go bark at.

I shared the elevator back down to the main floor with a small pool of blood, occupying the center spot, and several people desperately clinging to the walls in an effort to avoid the ostracized center occupant. I realized that I must qualify as a full fledged New Yorker by now, as I was far more frustrated by the unbearably slow pace of the elevator than I was freaked out by a little puddle o' blood.

I collected my dangerous contraband and made my way out into the monsoon to call the NLG and find out if the hearing had been cancelled. I only got the answering machine, which staunchly refused to answer my questions, despite my teary pleas. Seeing as how I was being rained upon with great vehemence, while standing under a covered construction scaffolding, I decided to abandon the quest and head for the stupid day job.

My well intentioned efforts garnered me no satifaction whatsoever, save the extra pages I got to read during the subway rides to and from. At least its a good book- far more interesting than this story to nowhere I'm posting. Ah, the excitement never ceases here folks.