Glad To Be Old
I went to go have a goodbye drink with Mr. Saucy Funnybuns (his buns aren't funny, he is), as I leave tomorrow evening from the sdj, and we went to my local hell's kitchen neighborhood bar (owned by Mr. Text Message who I briefly dated but as he could only communicate via text message ever, it didn't last very long). Midway through our drinks (which were actually 3, not 1) a gaggle of very young Fordham students came in the bar. They were 21; I am clearly not. While it was mildly entertaining, it was also very sad. Not that I want to be 21 years old again...god no! It was sad because these ladies did not have a strong sense of self and it was so very obvious. I'm sure I didn't either at that age; in fact I know for a fact that I didn't. But it was sad nontheless. Perhaps because I know better most of the time now.
Why are our womyn systematically taught to disrespect themselves? When did intelligence become anything but a virtue?
I realized that yes, I am indeed far from that age. But I am happy to be so.
One of the young womyn spent most of the time talking with Mr. SF and myself. She grabbed Mr. SF's phone at one point and was culling through the address book asking about everyone in there and if they were a guy she could hook up with. As every male in Mr. SF's phone is gay, she was certainly having no luck there. She then asked me to see my phone; I responded that if I had the number of any respectful and worthy straight man in there I'd probably be with him right now. She said that he didn't have to be respectful at all, or even nice. I told her that was definitely a problem and that she should be seeking those things (yes, I know...hello kettle you're black).
I told her to save herself the bother and invest in a lovely hood piercing instead; she asked to see mine, so we went off to the bathroom and as Mr. SF and I were leaving I do believe she was seriously contemplating the endeavor. She also asked, while in the bathroom, if Mr. SF was my boyfriend; I said, quite shocked, "No hon, he's gay!" She seemed so very disappointed to hear this, as I think she had a little crush on him and I thought my god, how could she not know?
As we left the bar, I felt simultaneously old and glad to be the age I am. She may not have any wrinkles, but she also has far less life experience and I'm glad to have as much as I do....the good and the bad. Many lessons and much of my self respect may have been hard won, but at least its there. Why do we ever have to lose it in the first place?
Why are our womyn systematically taught to disrespect themselves? When did intelligence become anything but a virtue?
I realized that yes, I am indeed far from that age. But I am happy to be so.
One of the young womyn spent most of the time talking with Mr. SF and myself. She grabbed Mr. SF's phone at one point and was culling through the address book asking about everyone in there and if they were a guy she could hook up with. As every male in Mr. SF's phone is gay, she was certainly having no luck there. She then asked me to see my phone; I responded that if I had the number of any respectful and worthy straight man in there I'd probably be with him right now. She said that he didn't have to be respectful at all, or even nice. I told her that was definitely a problem and that she should be seeking those things (yes, I know...hello kettle you're black).
I told her to save herself the bother and invest in a lovely hood piercing instead; she asked to see mine, so we went off to the bathroom and as Mr. SF and I were leaving I do believe she was seriously contemplating the endeavor. She also asked, while in the bathroom, if Mr. SF was my boyfriend; I said, quite shocked, "No hon, he's gay!" She seemed so very disappointed to hear this, as I think she had a little crush on him and I thought my god, how could she not know?
As we left the bar, I felt simultaneously old and glad to be the age I am. She may not have any wrinkles, but she also has far less life experience and I'm glad to have as much as I do....the good and the bad. Many lessons and much of my self respect may have been hard won, but at least its there. Why do we ever have to lose it in the first place?
posted by Le Synge Bleu at 1:47 AM
6 Comments:
You don't have any wrinkles! Hell, you're not even 30....yet....sigh....
there's practically a whole subset of sociology and anthropology about what happens to girls in our society at adolescence.
personally, i hold britney responsible.
vix- i do have wrinkles, as my friend that i had studied with in oxford years ago who came for a visit oh-so-delicately told me. AND i found a huge freakin blatantly silver hair yesterday to boot!
and its only 6 months to 30.
that's true...we haven't celebrated our mutual birthday together in a long long time. let's plan on definitely doing something.
I think you're absolutely right, Synge. Especially, sadly, about young womyn these days.
Sometimes I even feel old, but I'm only 24. Other times I feel really young and naive, more of a daunting experience than anything.
Anyways, I'm really greatful for all of your wisdom and insight.
I once heard that what sets a wise man and a fool apart is that a wise man can learn from the experience of others while a fool has to learn from his own.
I'm not sure how much I like that statement because I sure do seem to lean towards learning things the hard way- on the other hand I try really hard to listen and learn from the things people tell me.
And you Rock :)
Sometimes I wish I had the liver of a 21 year old, but I wouldn't trade the self respect I've gained over the years for anything.
Those who do not take life to seriously never really age.
-SL2000
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