Antilles is an Old Dutch Word Meaning You Must Wait Unimaginably Long Periods of Time to Eat When You Are Very Hungry

Bringin' home the bacon (cave formation called bacon in Bonaire caves, but referred to as draperies in American caving)

And I thought my nose was big! (octopus)

That's amore! (moray eel)

I'm floundering for a caption here (flounder)

Bonaire lawn decoration (flamingos...like you didn't know that one...)

The anemone of mine anemone is my friend (sea anemone)

My ex (I couldn't resist- aren't all men eels?)

Self portrait (angel fish - I'm so modest aren't I?)

I have returned rejuvinated, centered, relaxed, and covered from head to toe in mosquito and sand flea bites, which, while stunningly attractive, is not what my deli guy first remarked upon during our grand reunion; no, deli guy #3 took one look at me, gasped in horror (and no, I am not exaggerating here), and said "What happened??!! You get so big!!". Just what every woman aches to hear after just having spent a week exposing her flesh for all the world to see.

How I got so big is a complete mystery since we practically starved every afternoon while awaiting lunch. It became the big joke of the week as you had to plan 2 hours in your schedule just to wait for the food to arrive, and when it did it wasd almost always inevitably not what you ordered (which can prove a bit difficult if you don't eat meat or chicken and that's what they keep trying to set before you as you drool and cry from hunger). This was merely a minor inconvenience, however, and I didn't take it half as seriously as many of the divers did. Then again, I was always on top of the water, which evidently makes one far less hungry than being 60 feet below. Don't ask for the logic behind this; the only answer I got was that it was a pressure thing.

I did spend a great deal of time on top of the water, however, and I am so incredibly proud to officially announce that I believe I just may have conquered my fish phobia. Aside from the 6 foot tarpon fish that suddenly turned me into an Olympic swimmer, I did incredibly well and even found myself really enjoying snorkeling. I ended up buying my own snorkel, mask, and fins (it was only $20 more than the week's rental and much better quality so it seemed stupid not to) and have now added snorkeling to already overflowing basket o' hobbies and interests. I even have a favorite fish from this trip, the trunk fish, which is the hummingbird of the carribean and can swim backwards and hover. I also find the trumpet fish absolutely fascinating, as it swims vertically. I, however, swam horizontally, but I swam horizontally with fishies and that's huge!

I also went caving for two of the afternoons, and because I'm a caver and have been doing it since I was 15, the guide let me do a bunch of stuff that he didn't let the others do, like diving under a huge rock where I had to twist my body to get through. We went down a 100 foot drop to get into this snorkeling cave (not rappelling though - using rope and rocks...it was actually pretty easy) and it was incredible! I've never snorkeled in a cave before and it was absolutely magical. Another one of the caves used to be under the sea millions of years ago, and had these incredible fossils and inverted brain coral throughout; yet another new caving wonder for me.

I took a kayaking trip through the incredible mangroves one afternoon and was paired with Mom in the kayak; I had no idea she was as good a kayaker as she is and the two of us together made such an unstoppable team with our naturally synchronized strokes that we were always getting way ahead of the group. We have this joke between four of us who go snorkeling together (this was my second trip with the dive club; the first having been to Dominica right before I moved to New York) that weare the Franco-American Olympic Snorkeling Team in Training (Team Spagettio for short); that day it was extended to the Olympic Kayaking Team in Training as well. The cute Dutch guide was quite taken with our paddling; it was all Mom, really.

As much as I'd like to go on and on more, its now 3:30am and unless I want to sleep through the majority of the day tomorrow (which is appealing, don't get me wrong), I should make the arduous climb into bed. Besides, there really aren't many funny stories about the trip, just fun ones, and I really don't want to be that person that bores the shit out of everyone droning on and on about my vacation; don't worry no slide shows here. I will, however, subject you to some photos Dad took while diving; my photos have yet to be developed, though I took shockingly few as crime is rather high on the island so the camera rarely ventured out with me. Most of the pictures are things that I actually saw, with the exception of the octopus and moray eel, which I saw snorkeling in Dominica, and the big eel picture. One of the divers took an underwater shot of Mom and I snorkeling above him while he was on a dive; can't wait to see that one, though me in a bikini shot from below is not exactly my idea of flattering.

Okay, enough blabbering - I'm shutting up, posting picturesm and calling it a night (even though technically its an early morning).

Editor's note: The editor is a big dummy and the photos loaded above the post. The editor is too tired to change it. The editor seems to enjoy speaking of herself in the third person. The editor clearly needs sleep (as proven by the use of overly chessy bad punning captions of photos - sorry, sleep deprivation produces a chemical alteration thus turning me into my father...aaaahhhhh!)