My Solipsism of Late Comes Back To Bite Me In the Ass...Hard

I am so deeply ashamed of myself and absolutely horrified at my own selfish behavior.

I try incredibly hard to be a good friend to the people that I love and to always treat them with the respect and undying affection that they deserve. I'm not sure that I'm always wholly successful in this; the intention is always there, but I guess sometimes the commitment unintentionally wavers.

And then sometimes I'm just an asshole. Plain and simple.

Within a 10 minute span, I just had two different friends - who mean the absolute world to me - let me know that they've been hurt by my silence as of late; a silence I wasn't even fully cognizant of. They've felt neglected, and rightfully so. One of the friends had been in the ER for a respiratory problem, and I hadn't even called to see how she's doing. The other friend said that he feels like he gets less time with me than others, and feels like he deserves equal time and equal energy, at the very least. He had written an email on the 14th that I never even opened (somehow it got lost in the insanity that is my inbox). I've been running around like my own personal version of tornado alley, selfishly wrapped up in a million and one different crazy things, spending hours trying to save the world while virtually ignoring those I love most.

And I've been so wrapped up in my own little solipsistic existance that I had no clue I was even doing it.

I feel like the world's shittiest person. While I am overly competetive, this is hardly a title I covet.

I feel like crying about this is only another example of my selfishness.

This is the e-mail that I got, which in conjunction with my phone conversation with another friend I treasure beyond belief, wrenched my head from where it was semi-permenently lodges up my own ass:

Now, I do have a problem that only you can fix. [Beautiful Friend] is
feeling quite neglected by her friends and she is right to feel that way.
Have you called her and talked to her since she was in the emergency room?
You are busy with your organization, and meeting people, etc., but you forgot
the most important thing of all, the people you love. I am disappointed
that you have not spoken to her and I know she feels hurt. Only you can
rectify this.

Wow. Talk about a much needed reality check. And she's so absolutely right and I'm so absolutely ashamed of myself. I wrote a quick bumbling reply...what can I really say to either friend except you're right and I'm sorry? And this was the reply I got, which makes me feel even worse:

We love you no matter what. We all get wrapped up in things and get self
involved and that's okay. But try never to forget to just say a quick hi
to those you love. It doesn't have to be a 30 minute conversation.
Just let people know you are okay and are thinking of them. It is
unfortunate that [Beautiful Friend] doesn't have email since you could
have written a quick note, but she doesn't so the only way is by
telephone.

Remember that we love you and nothing will change
that.

I clearly do not deserve the friends I have.