Hey..Let's Bitch Slap the Temp (anonymous craigslist post reprinted)
The Lone Star Talent sent me this very funny Craigslist post, reprinted here for anyone who has ever been in or is still clawing their way through SDJ hell:
Hey..let's bitch slap the Temp .
Reply to: anon-14322437@craigslist.org
Date: Fri Aug 01 11:32:23
That's right...I do temp work...
A hired gun...
I'm here to sit at the front desk and answer your phones for 9 hours a day...that's right 9 hours...and stock the refrigerator w/ soda...I get to come in an hour early so that your damn coffee is hot...you're a corporate giant. Would it throw off your budget to go the 'bucks?
You complain when I do a job too well...what the hell?!!! Fucking, forgive me for setting up the conference room with a decent set of cups, napkins and cold water...I'm here an hour early...I made good use of the time.
oh...does my mail distribution take alittle too long? It's the whole floor of an damn office building that I've never been in before...and you...
you lazy...
...uncombed...
...too lazy to come in before 9:30...
...with an amazing number of personal calls...(oh and close your damn office door or speak in a normal speaking voice...It's unprofessional...and I don't want to hear you screaming at some poor vendor because you can't figure out how to do work the Video Conferencing System...use the on-screen prompts or ask me...it was on my list of skills...but what the hell sit there with your little friend and stare at the screen complaining about how poorly set up an internationally known communication system is)
...third person talking...(because you're obviously afraid of confrontation)
...complaining about my 16 minute break...
...running shoe wearing (with absolutely no wear)...
...organic herbal tea swilling...
...man-hating (yet heterosexual...I've seen you check me out...w/ the small mirror I have set up on my desk)
...self-important..."Office Manager"
don't blame me when we run out of stuff...you keep saying you want to teach me how you order stuff, but can't get your ass off the phone long enough to explain it...it doesn't matter...I figured it out on my own..and set up my own account...same w/ Fed/Ex...cuz like I said...I'm a hired gun...
...it's not my job to check out the laptops to the execs...why would I want to be responsible for $10,000 worth of computers...that's a set up waiting to happen.
...I don't want to sign b-day cards for people I don't know...and I don't want to chip in for the 'Get Laid It's Your Birthday" T-shirt...I don't want to run to the post office for you on my lunch break, unless I'm your personal Admin, and then you pay for my lunch if you have any damn manners.
An armani suit doesn't make you a good person...
and guess what...I can read hard back books too...and I have run triathlons as well...and traveled internationally...
I'm not a temp because I'm a drug addict or can't hold a job. I'm a temp so that I can be out of here before I'm fantasizing about digging a hole somewhere south of Market to hide your body, while I fake an alibi by sending out time delayed e-mails...
...I could do your job...hell - I HAVE done your job...I didn't want it
Oh and I can here it when you whisper in the kitchen...I've got nothing to do but listen.
You get mad when I you think I'm online too much...but I've offered to:
Type
File
Copy
Staple
Collate
...i've offered to do, any goddamn thing you want...you haven't taken me up on it. I can't read a book because the phone rings. I can't eat anything at my desk because that would lack decorum...(sometimes I hide crackers in the top drawer). I can't make phone calls, cuz that would keep me from doing my job. So, I shop online...and I look for other jobs...
WOW...I feel so much better...
HIRED GUNS hardly ever get to vent...
oh...one last thing
sometimes...
when no one's around...
I take an extra Snapple
Hey..let's bitch slap the Temp .
Reply to: anon-14322437@craigslist.org
Date: Fri Aug 01 11:32:23
That's right...I do temp work...
A hired gun...
I'm here to sit at the front desk and answer your phones for 9 hours a day...that's right 9 hours...and stock the refrigerator w/ soda...I get to come in an hour early so that your damn coffee is hot...you're a corporate giant. Would it throw off your budget to go the 'bucks?
You complain when I do a job too well...what the hell?!!! Fucking, forgive me for setting up the conference room with a decent set of cups, napkins and cold water...I'm here an hour early...I made good use of the time.
oh...does my mail distribution take alittle too long? It's the whole floor of an damn office building that I've never been in before...and you...
you lazy...
...uncombed...
...too lazy to come in before 9:30...
...with an amazing number of personal calls...(oh and close your damn office door or speak in a normal speaking voice...It's unprofessional...and I don't want to hear you screaming at some poor vendor because you can't figure out how to do work the Video Conferencing System...use the on-screen prompts or ask me...it was on my list of skills...but what the hell sit there with your little friend and stare at the screen complaining about how poorly set up an internationally known communication system is)
...third person talking...(because you're obviously afraid of confrontation)
...complaining about my 16 minute break...
...running shoe wearing (with absolutely no wear)...
...organic herbal tea swilling...
...man-hating (yet heterosexual...I've seen you check me out...w/ the small mirror I have set up on my desk)
...self-important..."Office Manager"
don't blame me when we run out of stuff...you keep saying you want to teach me how you order stuff, but can't get your ass off the phone long enough to explain it...it doesn't matter...I figured it out on my own..and set up my own account...same w/ Fed/Ex...cuz like I said...I'm a hired gun...
...it's not my job to check out the laptops to the execs...why would I want to be responsible for $10,000 worth of computers...that's a set up waiting to happen.
...I don't want to sign b-day cards for people I don't know...and I don't want to chip in for the 'Get Laid It's Your Birthday" T-shirt...I don't want to run to the post office for you on my lunch break, unless I'm your personal Admin, and then you pay for my lunch if you have any damn manners.
An armani suit doesn't make you a good person...
and guess what...I can read hard back books too...and I have run triathlons as well...and traveled internationally...
I'm not a temp because I'm a drug addict or can't hold a job. I'm a temp so that I can be out of here before I'm fantasizing about digging a hole somewhere south of Market to hide your body, while I fake an alibi by sending out time delayed e-mails...
...I could do your job...hell - I HAVE done your job...I didn't want it
Oh and I can here it when you whisper in the kitchen...I've got nothing to do but listen.
You get mad when I you think I'm online too much...but I've offered to:
Type
File
Copy
Staple
Collate
...i've offered to do, any goddamn thing you want...you haven't taken me up on it. I can't read a book because the phone rings. I can't eat anything at my desk because that would lack decorum...(sometimes I hide crackers in the top drawer). I can't make phone calls, cuz that would keep me from doing my job. So, I shop online...and I look for other jobs...
WOW...I feel so much better...
HIRED GUNS hardly ever get to vent...
oh...one last thing
sometimes...
when no one's around...
I take an extra Snapple
posted by Le Synge Bleu at 3:20 PM
6 Comments:
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Never seen such a blog! Keep doing it.
I have a free preenrollees site. It pretty well covers free preenrollees related stuff.
i can't believe i was fucking spammed by war profiteers! now i feel thoroughly sullied.
yes, but TIV wasn't corporate, it's a theatre...there's a huge difference.
and i also forgot that! oops!
Yea! I have a name on your blog! NOW I feel important!
...at least, I think that's me...
you've had a name on my blog for a long time, silly! and who else would be lone star talent?
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