Super Slacker Synge

Mr. Artsy Hotpants keeps reminding me of my blogging slackerdom. I know, remiss doesn't even begin to cover it these days. All I can say in my defense is that I've been a bundle of exhausted and overworked stressed out nerves. Yeah, yeah, aren't we all? But between two jobs, an improv class (I start level 2 tonight) and general life exhaustion I feel like I'm constantly attempting to juggle rubber balls covered in slippery dish detergent and dropping them at every turn. Forget the dating traumas of days gone by; these days if I'm lucky if I even have time, much less energy, to meet one of my very forgiving friends for a quick glass of wine. The girl who was once known for never being home because she was always in search of adventure and fun is now always in search of bed and sleep. Saturday night I did a virtually unheard of thing; I stayed in and read. And I wasn't even sick!

Thursday morning I leave at the crack of dawn for a much needed vacation with my parents. Not only is it a blessed escape, but its an escape to Hawaii...for two and a half weeks!!

Of course all things come with their own price tags...I am the official (as titled by my father) chaperone of my mother and general all around chauffer for everyone, which entails driving my father to dive sites at 5:30am, but hell, for a free vacation? I'd even wash my dad's feet, anmd he has quite possibly the most disgusting feet I've ever seen.

The other price tag isn't so easily quantified, or even identified. My parents take a trip every year at this time...last Friday was my brother's birthday and today is the anniversary of his death. While its not a somber commemerative kind of thing outright, we all know why we're flying the coop. We just don't necessarily discuss it. Those waters of acknowledgement with verbal avoidance ain't as easy to navigate as you may think. All three of us tend to be quite off kilter around this time; blurred around the edges with virtigo of the soul. Nothing feels quite normal or right, but in no clear definable manner. Three touchy dizzy confused and hurt people with jet lag and a hell of a lot of baggage...it could be a wonderful after school special of bonding and hugs, or it could be a gigantic chaotic mess against a backdrop of coconuts, palm trees, and volcanic mountains. Somehow I feel like I'm supposed to hold everyone together, which I wonder how I can accomplish when I'm not so sure I'm doing a stellar job with just myself.

Then again, I'm exhausted. (so what else is new..) Its 1:30am, I worked all day then ran around the entire city on various errands, and finally at 11pm arranged for my neighbor the African Goddess to take care of the demonic (but well loved) cat. Now it is 1:30am, I'm wilted and slouching myself right off the futon and perhaps not quite in the most positive of moods (fatigue will do that to you). I need to go to bed anyway, as I've got a horrendously long day ahead of me what with working all day, running to class until 10pm, and then coming home to begin the packing that I haven't even thought about and the cleaning (at least enough so that the African Goddess doesn't fall in one death trap or another on her way to getting the litterbox to clean - reference picture above of my stellar organizational and cleaning skills) I've been avoiding for months. I'm afraid it will be an all nighter and then off to the airport at 4:30am. I will sleep again, one day...in Hawaii maybe....