Tears, Cake, and Alcohol or My Weekend of Wedding Hoopla
I somehow managed to survive my weekend of weddings and engagement parties, and without valium injections at that! I did spend quite a bit of time engaged in traffic blubbering - the art of sobbing profusely in one's vehicle while attempting to mask said sobbing from the adjacent vehicles. I was largely unsuccessful in this endeavor, but was a bit too preoccupied with my self absorbtion to care all that much.
The weekend was definitely more trying than I had anticipated, and despite making friends and being generally well-liked at the wedding, I left feeling infinitely lonely and eschewed the after party for my motel room bed. The next morning and early afternoon, despite the sage advice of Mr. Saucy Funnybuns who spent a good long time on the phone with me Saturday night, I went to the barbecue for the newly wedded couple. I left after about an hour and a half, to begin making my way from Pennsylvania to Annapolis, MD, not realizing just how upset I was until the isolated bubble of the car prompted the flood of tears that had been long threatening to overflow their restraints. I was a pathetic mess. This lasted for pretty much the whole 3 hour trip, and I was certain that I was going to ruin Orphannie's engagement party and burst into tears upon seeing her, which is probably considered a bit of a faux pas amongst the Annapolis society...just hazarding a guess there.
Luckily I remembered that Sarachkah, Raoul, Orphannie, and even J. as the newest addition to our little family, all love me very much and I felt surrounded by that love and support from the first moment I arrived. I also spent quite a while holding Bijou, the treasure that I fell immediately in love with, who took equally to me as well I think. These things all reminded me that no matter how lonely I feel, there are people who love me unconditionally even amidst my feeling rather broken and worthless.
I am home now, and in a bit of a fog. I go to the doctor tomorrow and all will be well no matter what; I'll get a vaccination for the posible illness exposure, and with time I'll not feel so very hurt and betrayed by Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. I may even be stupid enough to attempt dating again at some point. Probably not.
I told Mr. EU on the phone last Friday that I had trusted him with my feelings and that was stupid, and I had trusted him with my body and that was even more stupid, but the worst offense of stupidity had been trusting him for a year and a half. I also asked him not to call again, which he promised to comply with excluding a phone call this coming Friday to discuss further medical test results. He apologized several times for all offenses, but that does nothing to relieve the smarting injuries.
At least the wedding weekend is over and I did not get some sort of horrendous allergic reaction to all the happy unions and blissful couples. Nor did I get exposure to any illnesses, so despite the painful nature of the weekend it was certainly better than a weekend with Mr. EU.
The weekend was definitely more trying than I had anticipated, and despite making friends and being generally well-liked at the wedding, I left feeling infinitely lonely and eschewed the after party for my motel room bed. The next morning and early afternoon, despite the sage advice of Mr. Saucy Funnybuns who spent a good long time on the phone with me Saturday night, I went to the barbecue for the newly wedded couple. I left after about an hour and a half, to begin making my way from Pennsylvania to Annapolis, MD, not realizing just how upset I was until the isolated bubble of the car prompted the flood of tears that had been long threatening to overflow their restraints. I was a pathetic mess. This lasted for pretty much the whole 3 hour trip, and I was certain that I was going to ruin Orphannie's engagement party and burst into tears upon seeing her, which is probably considered a bit of a faux pas amongst the Annapolis society...just hazarding a guess there.
Luckily I remembered that Sarachkah, Raoul, Orphannie, and even J. as the newest addition to our little family, all love me very much and I felt surrounded by that love and support from the first moment I arrived. I also spent quite a while holding Bijou, the treasure that I fell immediately in love with, who took equally to me as well I think. These things all reminded me that no matter how lonely I feel, there are people who love me unconditionally even amidst my feeling rather broken and worthless.
I am home now, and in a bit of a fog. I go to the doctor tomorrow and all will be well no matter what; I'll get a vaccination for the posible illness exposure, and with time I'll not feel so very hurt and betrayed by Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. I may even be stupid enough to attempt dating again at some point. Probably not.
I told Mr. EU on the phone last Friday that I had trusted him with my feelings and that was stupid, and I had trusted him with my body and that was even more stupid, but the worst offense of stupidity had been trusting him for a year and a half. I also asked him not to call again, which he promised to comply with excluding a phone call this coming Friday to discuss further medical test results. He apologized several times for all offenses, but that does nothing to relieve the smarting injuries.
At least the wedding weekend is over and I did not get some sort of horrendous allergic reaction to all the happy unions and blissful couples. Nor did I get exposure to any illnesses, so despite the painful nature of the weekend it was certainly better than a weekend with Mr. EU.
posted by Le Synge Bleu at 7:24 PM
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