Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
I'm getting ready to go have dinner with Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. He didn't show the other night because he spent all night firing the drummer of his band. He wrote a sweet e-mail and apologized. I do believe he wanted to be there. I do believe he was disappointed that he couldn't. It just sucks because it was important to me that he come see the show - more than I ever thought.
And the really shitty thing is that I can'treally be angry with him, because of course the band should come first - my work always comes first and I'd respect him far less if he didn't put the same amount of passion into his music as I do my acting. I also totally forgot that the band leaves next week to go tour France, so of course this was a huge deal that needed to be dealt with asap.
I also know I'm far to eager to forgive him, and far too happy to excuse his not contacting me until the next evening.
Over the last few days I've been constantly e-mailing the very wise Mr. Artsy Hotpants, who has really brought up a lot of good points. MAH lovingly calls me on all my bullshit and tells it like it is. I love that about him. He's also always right in his assesment of what's really going on with me. He said at one point that what I wanted was for Mr. EU to have called Tuesday night and said "there is no place I'd rather be than watching your show right now, but I can't be there because we're having a crisis with the band." He's right. I wanted to hear that it was incredibly important to him because it was incredibly important to me. And though I got an apology in the e-mail (and Mr. EU does not overapologize as I do. He says it once and means it.), I did not get that sense of things.
Mr. EU called last night, but I was at the baby shower. I returned his call, in quite the drunken dialing episode (we had quite a bit of wine at the baby shower), and evidently left the entire voice mail in French, unbeknownst to me. So he called again this morning to ask if what I said in french was "I forgive Mr. EU for having missed my show". I responded "I had no idea I left the message in French! We talked for a bit and he did say what I needed to hear. He said that Tuesday night was a really shitty night for him and that where he really wanted to be was at The Vagina Monnologues watching me act - or anywhere watching me act (he hates the play) for that matter. He said he was disappointed and pissed off that he couldn't be there.
So he's not completely forgiven, as I'm still disappointed and hurt that he didn't call at the time, but I like that he does care and it was important to him. I also like that although he's incredibly busy tonight, he's making time for me; that makes me feel important and cared about.
And I'd better go because I'm totally going to be late!
And the really shitty thing is that I can'treally be angry with him, because of course the band should come first - my work always comes first and I'd respect him far less if he didn't put the same amount of passion into his music as I do my acting. I also totally forgot that the band leaves next week to go tour France, so of course this was a huge deal that needed to be dealt with asap.
I also know I'm far to eager to forgive him, and far too happy to excuse his not contacting me until the next evening.
Over the last few days I've been constantly e-mailing the very wise Mr. Artsy Hotpants, who has really brought up a lot of good points. MAH lovingly calls me on all my bullshit and tells it like it is. I love that about him. He's also always right in his assesment of what's really going on with me. He said at one point that what I wanted was for Mr. EU to have called Tuesday night and said "there is no place I'd rather be than watching your show right now, but I can't be there because we're having a crisis with the band." He's right. I wanted to hear that it was incredibly important to him because it was incredibly important to me. And though I got an apology in the e-mail (and Mr. EU does not overapologize as I do. He says it once and means it.), I did not get that sense of things.
Mr. EU called last night, but I was at the baby shower. I returned his call, in quite the drunken dialing episode (we had quite a bit of wine at the baby shower), and evidently left the entire voice mail in French, unbeknownst to me. So he called again this morning to ask if what I said in french was "I forgive Mr. EU for having missed my show". I responded "I had no idea I left the message in French! We talked for a bit and he did say what I needed to hear. He said that Tuesday night was a really shitty night for him and that where he really wanted to be was at The Vagina Monnologues watching me act - or anywhere watching me act (he hates the play) for that matter. He said he was disappointed and pissed off that he couldn't be there.
So he's not completely forgiven, as I'm still disappointed and hurt that he didn't call at the time, but I like that he does care and it was important to him. I also like that although he's incredibly busy tonight, he's making time for me; that makes me feel important and cared about.
And I'd better go because I'm totally going to be late!
posted by Le Synge Bleu at 7:16 PM
1 Comments:
not too sound too much like an overprotective big sister (because i have been out of the picture too long to presume that role- that's MAH now), but why exactly did Mr. EU not go to your show on Sunday night? Be careful making excuses my love, they tend to pile up. And I reiterate that you deserve the very best, and don't you forget it! Don't be grateful that he is making time for you tonight- he damn well should! You are worth making time for, and anyone worth spending it with should know that.
(look at how riled up I got- I'm using capital letters!)
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