They Like Me? Huh?

I only took the damn class because Eliza made me, and frankly, she can be quite persuasive when she wants to be. Of course I knew why...it was the motivational kick in the ass I had been needing for quite some time....but improv comedy? Me? I'm not funny! I don't have any funny ideas! I can't think quickly on my feet! I'm an actor, not a comedian!

I fucking loved it.

I loved it so much I decided to take the level 2 class. I loved it so much I now genuflect at Eliza's feet every time I see her and defer to her for any and all major decisions in life. (Okay, maybe I don't genuflect, but I do respect the hell out of her opinion)

But I still get nervous and still can get caught up in the whole vicious circle of being afraid thus not going with my instincts thus making crappy choices thus being afraid kind of thing. I still think I'm not any good at it, but I definitely see the huge value in these classes, both in regards to my acting career, and in my life in general. In fact, Eliza said that the reason she had me take the first class was so thaht I could learn and see that my ideas are as valid and interesting as anyone else's. She fet I was giving the city too much credit, and needed to reclaim a little for myself. Yeah, I know, my friends are fucking phenomenal, huh?

Last night I went to my level 2 improv class with a little anxiety and trepidation packed into my already overstuffed purse; I had missed class the week before and just felt out of sorts, and stupid, and not at all creative...you know, like Jabba the Hut trying to do stand up or something. (I guess I also felt slimy and fat?) And the first half of the class, for me, kind of reflected that, I think. So on the break, instead of spending the whole time kicking myself, as I would normally do, I walked briskly around the block to pump my energy up, and returned with renewed comittment to just fucking jump out there and take a risk. I also asked to play "Big Booty" to up the energy of the class....don't ask, its really not as saucy as it sounds, but it is fun.

I suppose I did bounce back, because at the end of the night I did these two scenes that even I was pleased with and which had everyone laughing. I even heard someone telling their boyfriend about it on the phone. But best of all...my teacher said I was a very talented actor! Not a talented improv-er, but a talented actor, and that could really work for me in improv. It was just really nice to get a little recognition for what I do best, but sometimes forget I do amidst the hustle and bustle of just even trying to live in this city.

And I felt realy good about myself when I left the classroom. I felt like my ideas maybe are valid, and that maybe I am giving this city too much credit.

It was also really cool that while hanging out for a few beers afterwards, many members of our small but very tight knit class came up and said how much they missed me last week. Wow! They like me! They really like me!